Mature Dating – Women Dating Mature & Midlife Crises

November 16, 2009

dating mature women
Allan Tan asked:


As a single woman who finds herself in the mature dating stages of her life, how do you deal with being a woman, dating and living through midlife crises’?

When we’re younger single women, we usually have a strong desire to impress our dating prospects and are always on our best behavior and feel that if we’re not perfect, our prospect will leave us.  This perspective does sometimes stay with some women; however, most women get over that ridiculous ideology by the time they reach mid-life or just before that.  As we age and experience life, hopefully, we are learning as we grow and mature.

Most women want to be in a relationship where vulnerability reigns supreme and we can each be ourselves and be one hundred percent accepted without conditions.  Now, we’re all human of course and this is not the normal way that relationships proceed all the time.  It is a great goal to proceed in this direction, but it’s not always the reality.  As a woman in a mature dating relationship or longing for one, we have experience behind us that is not always good.  How do we handle the baggage that comes from previous relationships?  Not all of the previous relationship experience was bad, but it’s experience nonetheless and is a part of our lives and makes us who we currently are.

As you embark on a new mature dating relationship, remember to be true to yourself.  Don’t pretend for anyone.  Acknowledge your feelings for what they truly are.  Your feelings are the barometer of your body and we need to listen to what those feelings are telling us.  Too many times we are taught and conditioned to disregard our feelings, but we need to accept them and allow them to be part of the guiding force in our relationships.

The other factor in a mature dating relationship is that we need to listen to our intuition and common sense.  Ladies, if your intuition is telling you to stay away from some relationship, then by all means, stay way.  Love the moment you are in, but not if it’s a bad one.  Of course there will be tensions in all relationships, but you know the warning signs of an abusive relationship and that is something you don’t need in your life.

As a mature single looking to be in a mature dating relationship, learn to date differently.  It’s great to sit in a restaurant and talk to each other, but don’t forget to get out there and enjoy life together.  Take a hike or go for a picnic lunch; life is too short not to experience life together in all of its fullness.  You have the life experience behind you that gives you great hindsight to see that you, as most of us, must have regrets in your past.  Don’t let this be a new regret.  Seize the day and live life as if every day is your last day.  You truly do deserve to be happy.



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